When I discovered I was pregnant, at age 19, my supportive parents were by my side. When I moved my unsuccessful college bags back into my parents’ home, they helped me unpack my belongings. When I delivered the most beautiful baby girl, my mother held my hand. When I placed my baby girl in the arms of her adoptive father, my father wept. When we received our first letter and photos from her adoptive parents, my parents framed them. When her first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday came, my parents held me.
Every step of the way, I have been fortunate to have my parents, family members, and friends circled around me. Not all of them agreed with my decision, but that didn’t matter. They all knew I needed someone by my side every step of the way. After eighteen years, I can say I have always felt 100% supported and loved by my tribe. With their tender care, I was able to make one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, and place my angel baby for adoption.
The significance of having a hand to hold, an ear to hear, a shoulder to cry on, and a pair of eyes to look into made all the difference in my adoption journey. Unfortunately, not every birth parent has this same opportunity. If you know someone who is faced with an unplanned pregnancy, if you are a friend, a neighbor, the adoptive parent, or a social worker reach out to them!
Show up, every day, offering to be a support to them. I had several conversations that most likely felt meaningless to the other person, but for me they were everything. Be available to those in need, whether its a birth parent or otherwise. We all need more kindness, more communication, more love, and more support in our lives. Look around you and offer to be the one by their side.