Do you have days where your “To Do” list is overflowing, your house is a wreck, your adoption checklist continues to grow, and all you want to do is sit and watch the rain fall from the comfort of your couch? Am I alone here?

When I am feeling overwhelmed, as a mother, as a birth mother, or just as a human being, I have to slow down and take it one step at a time. One task at a time is much easier to accomplish than focusing on everything at once. You don’t have to save the world in one day, but sometimes it feels that way.

As a member of the adoption community, for over eighteen years, taking one step at a time is the best advice I could offer anyone in the triad. Adoption is full of high emotions, ever-changing scenarios, difficult decisions, and regulations or situations that are out of your hands. You can’t control adoption! Adoptive couples can’t control when they are matched with a birth parent. Birth parents can’t control adoptive parent’s communication promises. Yes, adoption is beautiful, but it can be messy and complicated. Taking each day, one step at a time helps me (and hopefully some of you) put things into perspective.

One step at a time is not only important for mundane daily chores but even more true for the way I view and handle my adoption relationships. The only thing I can control in my adoption triad, and my life, is how I react or don’t react. One step at a time has been a way for me to look at adoption from a wider lens, to see the bigger picture. I don’t have to react to every little thing that is said or not said, neither do you. I don’t have to clean every square inch of my house at once. What I can do, and you can too, is control your attitude, your choices, and your priority list.

Take your adoption journey one step at a time. You don’t have to accomplish everything right now, and you don’t have to react to everyone now, you merely have to continue pushing forward one task at a time. Don’t put half of your effort into something that requires your full attention simply to accomplish it sooner. Control what you can, create a priority list, and think before you react or respond. One step at a time in every decision and every task is the best way to stay productive, efficient, and aware.