When creating an adoption profile, you’ll have multiple people guiding you – your social worker, other agency employees, friends, family, etc. And they’ll probably give you lots of good advice! But one thing that is routinely overlooked is not what to put in your adoption profile, but instead what not to put in your adoption profile. Today, we’ll review a couple of the most prominent adoption profile “No-No’s.”
Using Possession When Talking About the Child
When talking about the child you hope to adopt, it’s important to never use possessive pronouns such as OUR and YOUR. The reason being is that we never want to assume that a birth parent is choosing you or that they want to associate the child with themselves yet. Instead, you should use a child, this child or the child. I know, it may sound cold – but it’s a best practice that almost the entire industry has chosen to use.
Talking About Highly Specific Topics
Security and safety is paramount in the adoption process, and not because birth parents are evil – but because your information is really public. If you’re hoping to adopt in the 21st century, you have to put yourself out there – much like getting on LinkedIn to find a job. And that means you’ll have to be okay with the fact that other people, if they desire, can see your profile. So don’t mention things like specific place of work, specific places that your frequent or even awards that you’ve won. These are all things that can be used to pinpoint you. Instead opt to describe things in general terms like : “I work as an executive for a financial firm,” or “We love visiting the nearby state park for weekend hikes,” or “She’s been given several awards for her work in education.”
Choosing Pictures that Could Be Offensive
Some pictures are meant for Facebook, some pictures are meant for dating profiles – but that doesn’t mean they’re meant for your adoption profile! Try to use pictures that don’t identify anything about you (avoid ones that display your place of work, a local school or show a landmark that could pinpoint you). Also, try to find photos that have you covered up – birth parents don’t need to see you with a shirt off or in a bikini. And finally, scan backgrounds to make sure there are no smoking devices or alcoholic beverages. It’s okay to have a champagne toast at a wedding or to have a glass of wine on the table at a family dinner, but please no tailgating shots or bottles of liquor on the kitchen counter.