There are a lot of worries that come with the adoption process. Adoptive parents worry if they will be matched or not. Birth parents worry about their decision to place their baby for adoption. I have never looked back on a moment in my life and said I’m so glad I worried about that.

Often the unknown is the seed to our worrying or anxiety. When you begin the adoption process, there are a lot of unknowns and uncertainty. The easiest way to silence them is to educate yourself, so your unknowns grow into knowledge. Reach out to those who have adopted or birth parents who placed their babies for adoption. There is no one better to help educate than those who have been in the trenches before you.

Adoption is complex. Many things are out of your control, especially when it comes to a timeline. If you are in the waiting stages of adopting, you know what I mean. On the other side of that, is a birth mom, wishing for more time with her baby. Adoption can be heartwarming and heartbreaking. The truth is you can’t control the majority of what happens, in adoption and life, stop resisting and lean into each high and low.

When you have worries or doubt about your adoption journey, try to change your perspective; zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Many people have been in your shoes, and when you’re in that moment of stress and anxiety, everything feels negatively magnified. Ask yourself if the situation is worth worrying about, 99% of the time you’ll find yourself saying no.

Focus on what makes adoption beautiful. Lean into the uncontrollable timeline. Set a priority list for the things you can control. Remind yourself that you were guided here for a reason. Then take a walk, read a book or write out your thoughts down. Let the worry go!