The holidays aren’t always the happiest season. Many of us struggle during this time of year. Whether you’re waiting to be matched or you’re pregnant and making an adoption plan for your child, the holidays can bring up a lot of mixed emotions. It can be difficult to watch those around you celebrating and enjoying themselves when you feel like your life is out of your hands.

I placed my daughter in Oct. of 2000, and that first Christmas was a struggle. I can only imagine for those of you who are waiting to adopt, that the holidays bring up similar emotions of longing and the hollow feeling of not knowing when your family will feel complete. One thing that has helped me, over the years, is to pay more attention to the things I do have. To continue that state of gratitude from Thanksgiving into Christmas, and right to the end of the year. I can’t say that I have always been the best at doing this. Some years I get annoyed by those around me blissfully enjoying the “happiest time” of year. Being aware of the energy I am putting off, and acknowledging my feelings, helps me stop that negative train of thought.

Life is never what we expect it to be, in adoption and outside of adoption. The beautiful thing is we always have one thing we can focus on that is positive and brings light to our lives; one simple thought or person is all it takes.

Who brings joy to your life right now?

Who is there to listen and laugh when you need someone?

What materialistic item brings you joy?

I find joy in sipping a cup of coffee in my favorite mug, wearing my favorite slippers, and I can be in that moment and say, “I am so happy right now.” It’s simple, and yet it helps me focus on what I do have, instead of mumbling about what I don’t have. Every day, especially during the most difficult times of the year, focus on one thing every day that brings you JOY (a person or a thing), and you will shift your brain into seeing more positivity in your life. You might even find yourself singing a Christmas song or two.

Happy Holidays!